I apologize in advance for this not being a humorous post. As I wrote a while ago, I moved away from my home country to pursue a fantastic career opportunity. I haven’t written about life as an expat because I’m not entirely certain if my readers would find it interesting & because mostly, everyday life isn’t entertaining or amusing. Having said that, I wrote this because this is how I felt while I was in Hanoi.
Hanoi is the capital & second largest city in Vietnam. The city is an incredible blend of east & west. While there are many cities with unusual & fascinating blends, Hanoi seemed to have caught me off guard. The old French architecture is fused perfectly with Vietnamese culture & way of life. I absolutely loved sitting at a street side restaurant, sipping a Saigon beer & watching the world go by.
As interesting & unique as I found Hanoi to be, Hanoi made me feel like such a foreigner. It made me realize that when I left to go ‘home’, I wouldn’t be going home at all – I would be going to a flat thousands of kilometres away from the life I was so used to & to face the everyday problems every other expat faces.
I felt lost & not because I didn’t know my geographical location, but rather I felt a general feeling of not belonging. I began to have very negative thoughts about the decision I made to leave South Africa a few months ago. For the first time in this terrifying, crazy, exciting adventure, I felt homesick. I felt extremely guilty for putting my parents in a position to worry about & miss me the way they do. I felt so upset that I missed my sister’s wedding. I got sad at thinking of how much my nieces will grow & change while I am not there. I missed the comfort of being a local. I could go on for ages with the negative things I thought about.
Once you are in that state of mind, it is so easy to continue feeding that negativity. I think it is important to acknowledge those emotions & allow yourself to feel that way for a while, but then you have to move on with life. I have two things that I live by when it comes to missing home & homesickness: First, if you hadn’t been given an opportunity great enough to leave home, you wouldn’t have. Second, if you weren’t blessed with an exceptional life at home, you wouldn’t miss it.
This crazy adventure has already had so many surprises & twists along the way… one of them finding myself in Hanoi watching the sun set over the congested streets while locals beep their way around on scooters. Life is an adventure – an adventure with highs & lows &, well, I wouldn’t be me if I had said no to this adventure.
Keep traveling, keep safe.
DanVenture Travels.
DanVenture Travels 
I stayed there for 3 months straight on two occasions and in those times I had hit some of the lowest and a few highest times of my life. I didn’t really feel like belonging although there is so much to see compared to HCM.
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Hi Dan I too use to feel very much home sick when I moved to college.
Later slowly I got adjusted to hostel life. Then later I got married now it’s my house. Missing parents, hometown I can understand a lot.
But these are part of life, stay strong.
Hope you will get adjusted soon.
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Hi there Manisha, I’m so sorry for replying so late. Thank you for leaving this comment. I hope to get fully adjusted soon as well.
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No issues Dan. Yes I wish the same 😊👍
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Are you ‘expatting’ alone? That is very brave.
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Yip, doing this alone.
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Very adventurous! Wow…
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Ah. Being an Expat can be difficult especially if you moved “permanently.” I got homesick once or twice while an expat in England but it was mostly a crazy long holiday because we knew it would end after 2 or 3 years. I hope you will soon feel at home there. We started to feel at home when it was time to pack up and leave.
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I see, I’m not sure how long I’ll be living here so I suppose I struggle with that. Do you miss being an expat?
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Yes I do miss being an expat!
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Being homesick is a natural feeling to experience. As a fellow expat, there are times when I feel the pain and loneliness of living far from home, family, and familiarity. It will get better and your new surroundings will become familiar, but you will always miss home…as one always does. Use it as strength!
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Hi Greg, thanks for the support. I’m really happy that other people can relate & give some tips.
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This was so well stated and such a good reminder. Thank you.
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Thank you for taking time to read it.
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Dan The Man. I can totally relate to this. As you know I did not see you, or any of my family for 15 years. Although I already had my own family when I left Zimbabwe, your parents, sibling and their children are an important part of your life. Not only do you miss seeing the children grow up, but you miss seeing your parents getting old, your siblings getting old(er), you also miss them not seeing you own family growing up, cousins not knowing each other except for Facebook. 22 years down the track I still miss ‘home’ but have been lucky enough to return 4 times in the last 7 years, and getting ready for another visit in March. I will be stopping over with your family on the way and it will not be the same without you there, but I’m sure it won’t be long before we cross paths.
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Hi Dave, I’m sorry for reply so late – my schedule has been quite busy lately.
I feel like you must be such an expert at experiencing homesickness & that what I experience can’t even be compared. I do feel things are very different now because of the way technology has advanced.
Thanks for reading & understanding. As it stands, I hope to be home in March for 2 weeks so hopefully I will be able to see you then.
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Hi Dan, I’ve found that the homesickness you get from being an expat is totally different to when you are just travelling. And, I think that as an experienced traveller it actually hits you harder; it did for me anyway. I remember thinking, “I’ve travelled heaps, this will be easy!” So I was totally thrown when it wasn’t. (Whereas someone who hasn’t travelled a lot expects it to be hard and is prepared.)
I really like your two points about having the opportunity to go abroad and being blessed with a home life worth missing. I think that had I thought those when the homesickness hit me, it would have made it a bit easier.
It does get better though! One day you’ll turn around and realise you feel like a local and you won’t even know when it happened!
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This was such a great comment to read. I was completely thrown off when it hit me so I’m glad to hear other people experience it as well. I do enjoy this life, but every now & then the homesickness creeps in & it isn’t pleasant. Hopefully, it will happen less & less.
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I’m in the same boat, I moved to Nanjing alone!
It feels even more isolating sometimes, to be in the middle of a bustling, fast-paced city, like Hanoi. I certainly had some lonely days there, but after about five months, I loved it! Reading this post has reminded me of how much I miss that charming French architecture…
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I’m glad you could relate. Thank you for reading!
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I think we can all agree some where along the way no matter where we have been, we’ve all suffered some kind of home sickness. Chin up, stay strong. Also, great read!
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Thank you for reading!
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Hi Dan,
It is hard missing home when you are an expat but the way you look at it is really cool! Living in Japan, I know that feeling of never feeling like a local and even after 4 years I still don’t and that can be hard. I know that I don’t plan on staying here forever so I have taken to treating it like an extended holiday and I don’t get offended when people think I am tourist. I am also really lucky that I love my work here so that makes it easier.
One thing that does hang around in the back of mind during my time here, is that I am a strong believer in things happening for a reason! I am slowly started to realise mine. Hopefully the reason you moved away will come apparent to you some day… Good luck.
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Thank you for leaving this comforting comment. I appreciate that you took time to read & comment.
I can imagine how tough it must be to feel like an outsider in Japan. You are right, everything does happen for a reason.
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I decided after graduating college to WWOOF around France for a few months. The whole experience has been a shocker– much more difficult than I ever could have imagined. Even if France is where my mother is from! It is easy to start letting the negative thoughts surround you. Before you know it, you might become convinced you have failed in some way– that someone else, someone stronger, more social, more adaptable, would not have the same struggles as you. But like you said, there’s a reason you left and a reason you are staying. To travel alone is very difficult, but it’s brave. It’s something a lot of people will never try. And let’s say you stay where you are for a bit of time, and after a bit you decide the misery isn’t worth it– it’s not a failure. It was an adventure! And you learned something.
I have a blog a bit similar to yours. I just started a few months ago. I’m trying to build travel and life stories that are entertaining and relatable to others, while also inspiring people (and mainly myself) to keep creating, keep trying, even when I fall on my face. check it out if you have time!! NO worries if you don’t want to. I enjoy looking to your blog for guidance on how to make a successful blog.
Best of luck!
lilchapstick.com
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nicely written about missing ‘home’ and feeling ‘homesick’. i just have to say one thing. one always misses ‘home’ when away from it. the feeling of ‘home’ is what makes travelling more interesting. Like
George A. Moore has said ‘A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.’. same way I believe, “you travel to explore world but then you always come back to ‘home”.
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Give it time and I’m sure you will start to feel more settled. I do like the way you found to focus on the positive aspects.
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I feel you. I’m an expat myself ^_^
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Thanks for sharing your vulnerability and bits of what you call negativity. Blogger try generally to highlight the positive, enlightening and encouraging it seems, though hearing of other’s angst is edifying as well.
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Thank you for this comment!
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That feeling of homesickness doesn’t fade away so easily but like you wrote if you have a positive mindset everything falls beautifully into place. And aren’t you already enjoying the sunset in congested streets and marvelling at the French architecture 🙂 It is a continuous process, to find a home away from home. Looking forward to read more of your adventures 🙂
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Thank you for taking time to read my post & I really appreciate this comment. Thank you!
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It is something that has hit me many times when away from home long term. Does make you appreciate what you have back home though and makes it all that much better to go back 🙂 Great post x
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Thank you for taking time to read & comment.
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Hey Dan – thanks for this honest and frank post. Likewise for those that miss you – if you weren’t such a wonderful blessing, no one would miss you!! – Some days might be difficult but just enjoy every minute – time flies!!
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Dan it takes courage to follow your dreams! You will know why I can totally relate to how you feel. Kia Kaha
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Thanks for this comment & I’m so sorry it has taken me so long to reply. It takes a lot of adjusting & getting used to, but like you said, I know how well you understand.
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Dear Dan, nice writing. I’m a Hanoian myself, also far away from home now and missed my sister’s wedding. I also think if I hadn’t had the opportunity to leave Hanoi, I’d never love it like I do now. Home never leaves your heart, it’s a part of your soul, it’s normal to miss it awfully. I like Germany a great deal but hardly felt I belong here, or anywhere other than Hanoi. Just keep pushing on, carrying home at heart and believing in an eventual union 🙂
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Thank you so much for taking time to read my update & for leaving this comment. I’m sorry that I’ve taken so long to reply to this comment. I like how you said home is a part of your soul, I strongly agree.
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Stick with it; it will feed you in a way you cannot imagine!
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Thank you!
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Thanks for sharing! Keep going😊
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Hi Dan, really like your honest, real approach. Sometimes I think the point of travel (vs a holiday ) is to be wrong-footed, to realign your thinking and look at things with a different perspective. Keep up your blog, I really enjoy it.
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Two excellent points!
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Reblogged this on SirPeterJames.com and commented:
You are a brave young man Dan; because of this you will reap the harvest of a great life. I’m told that when you leave your home country, it takes 24 months before you lose the homesickness – but you surely made the best move…..
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Something has to be said for learning and growing in a new place far from home. Good for you! Keep your head up!
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“Life is an adventure – an adventure with highs & lows &, well, I wouldn’t be me if I had said no to this adventure.”just loved how you ended this post :-). Good luck for whatever you re doing now^^
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I loved abroad in Europe for a few years as a teenager and while I greatly missed home (Canada), it was also such an enriching experience that I’ll always be grateful for.
Here’s hoping you encounter many people whose warmth will give you a feeling of home!
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I love this piece, it is straight from the heart and well written; and I think this is how I would have felt in the same situation myself.
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